Track 00 (Intro): Background 👪
In high school I wanted to be a rapper. Growing up about 30 minutes outside of Detroit in the late 90’s, it became a morning ritual with my father (picture a more polite and less invasive version of Larry David; slightly better fashion sense) to play Eminem’s latest album on our 15-minute car ride to school. My mom wasn’t pleased, and as a compromise, the house rule became “edited version only” when buying new records. So if you may, please take a moment to picture me and my Dad bumping some controversial lyrics on the way to piano practice from the sound system of his 2001 Gold Volvo V70 Cross Country 🚗. Buckle up.
Here is a picture of me, my Mom and my Dad circa early 2000’s. I was an avid Wings fan, but for a few years the Mighty Ducks cartoon and Paul Kariya stole my heart. And yes, I still cheese like that when I smile
2002 was, in particular, an eventful summer. The Eminem Show was released in late May, and if I was lucky, station 95.5 would play Without Me, Superman, Sing for the Moment and Till I Collapse all in the same hour 📻. I remember rapping every word on the way to tennis practice with my friends (whose parents allowed them to listen to the Explicit versions 🚫). When I returned home, my ear would be right up against my Nickelodeon Timeblaster Rise & Slime Alarm Clock Radio (image below for those not familiar), waiting for the next they played. The signal that hip-hop had made it to the mainstream in Detroit was when my grandpa (“Papa” – still alive and in his absolute prime at 94) started singing the chorus of Cleanin’ Out My Closet at Sunday evening family dinners. Yep, the rap blood was in me and it was genetic. There was no denying it. 🎙
Looking at the album artwork for The Eminem Show still brings me back. As does this. Summer 2002. Click play if you desire as you continue reading.
The alarm clock radio that sat next to my bed for over a decade. These are the sounds of my childhood. At least a hundred Red Wings games have been listened to on this thing after lights-out on a school night. Don’t tell my parents please.
In case anyone was curious, I also owned a Nickelodeon Land Line Talk Blaster Lights & Sounds Telephone. We may have used this for weekly prank phone calls in early middle school. I’ll save a longer discussion of my love for Nickelodeon cartoons for another day
Morning drives to school became such an integral part of my experimentation with Hip-Hop and music. My dad and I would take monthly trips to (at that time) all of the retail meccas for musical exploration: Best Buy, Circuit City, Barnes & Noble, Costco. It was marvelous. Sorry, it was phat. Below is a sample of other albums that in particular received a disproportionate amount of airtime from me and my father. It was not a fun day in our household when my mother learned I knew every lyric to Snoop’s Gin and Juice. No discman for a week ☹.
Some hip hop albums that played a big role in my childhood. If I were at my childhood home I’d send a picture of my CD case as living proof.
In short, hip-hop became a passion of mine. Starting in high school, my friends and I experimented with a few songs of our own. Creating our own beats, finding lyrics that fit them, and finding an outlet for our expression was incomparable to anything I’d done in any other academic, athletic, or extracurricular settings. I loved creating something of my own, sharing it with others, watching the word spread, and hearing everyone’s feedback. My favorite part was creating lyrics, and for a few years the hobby consumed me ✍.
Lil’ Dicky living my childhood dream
While I do find true enjoyment and fulfillment from my current work in investing, the moments in which I’ve experienced the same amount of “flow” (i.e. being “in the zone” – more on this below) as I did when creating lyrics and composing music has been few and far between.
Although our high school rap group is now long gone (not even the most intricate Google search will find us), the process of being expressive, having our own voice, and being an artist was just so liberating.
Pause the record, let’s skip to Track 01 (Interlude).
Track 01 (Interlude): Flow State 🧠
I recently finished Csikszentmihalyi’s Flow (I’d highly recommend reading if you haven’t already). Csikszentmihalyi defines flow as “a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter.” 🧘♀️ Put simply, when one is in Flow, one treads a fine line between being overwhelmed and bored; between being anxious and being not challenged enough. The flow zone is an area between these two extremes that results in what Csikszentimihaly’s coins as “optimal experience”. The concept isn’t new or groundbreaking, but since finishing the book, it’s made me think deeply about how I spend my time, and what proportion of my time spent contains attributes of Flow State.
Graph of Csikszentmihalyi’s representation of Flow State
Defining Flow more deeply, Csikszentmihalyi outlines what I interpret as eight boxes that must be checked in order for the state to take place:
Achievability 📑: we must have a reasonable chance of completing the task we confront
Concentration 😗: we must be able to concentrate fully on what we are doing
Goal-Oriented 🥍 : we must have a clear purpose for undertaking the exercise
Feedback 🟢🔴: we must be able to receive immediate and precise internal and external feedback
Effort 💪: we must act with a deep but effortless involvement that removes awareness of other distractions
Control 🦺: we must be able to exercise a sense of control over our actions
Mindfulness 🧘: we lose concern for the self, external pressure surrenders, and focus is only on the task at hand
Time ⏱: our sense of duration is altered; hours pass in minutes, and minutes can stretch on for hours
Anyone who has been in a state similar to this ^ knows how it feels. You feel productive. Worries seem to go away. There is a purpose and a sense of creativity that underpins action, and you simply live in the moment. You are immersed in optimal experience.
Skiing is something else that provides me with a strong state of flow. When I’m skiing with friends, I’m completely immersed in the moment. Here’s a picture of me and some friends from a recent ski trip. I’m kneeling on the right. Yes my yellow goggles match my skis.
Over the past several months, as I have attempted to relate these 8 “flow criteria” back to my own life, there are a few lessons I have learned:
On Happiness 😃: happiness is found when it is not looked for directly. The best moments in our lives occur when we are fully involved with every detail of our lives, good or bad, living in the moment. This tends to be easiest when our bodies and/or minds are stretched to their limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. This tends to be hardest when our bodies and minds are not.
On Leisure 😴: leisure provides a break from work, but it generally is spent passively absorbing our phones/TV’s without using any skills or exploring new opportunities for action (Americans spend most of their time watching TV Link). Most people’s well-earned and hard-to-find leisure time therefore passes in a sequence of boring and anxious experiences over which one exercises little control. I am guilty of this often.
On Immediate Gratification 🍗: the mind naturally gravitates towards things that bring immediate pleasure – tasty food, alcohol, drugs, sex. It’s the feeling of wanting “more” in the brain (Lieberman’s The Molecule of More is currently on my reading list, and has been recommended by many people including Andrew Huberman). However, a mind constantly focused on and easily swayed by these things is not free to direct its energy towards “the moment” and experiences that provide for flow.
Sorry, I know interludes are sometimes boring. Back to my rap career.
Track 02: Flow + Rap Stardom 🙌
I thought a fun, natural next exercise could be to compare being a middle school rap star vs. working a job in business at the bottom of the corporate ladder (a typical job right out of undergrad, including for myself), and the extent to which each position either fulfills or fails to fulfill the components of Flow. A broader purpose of the exercise could be to understand the natural inclination to “create” (starting from childhood) over other forms of activity (take orders, work for others, etc.), and how this may relate to career choice.
Flow “Showdown”: Middle School Rapper vs Sap @ Bottom Rung of Corporate Ladder
While there are certainly circumstances in which one can feel a state of Flow while working a corporate job (I for example certainly have, which is why I continue my work in a hierarchical organization), there is no arguing that one is more set up for optimal experience as an artist vs as a corporate worker. If we agree that optimal experience is something each of us strive to achieve, then why don’t more of us go the artist route?
Two answers that come to mind? 1) Societal norms. 2) MONEY. Being an artist, on a risk-adjusted basis, has historically not been lucrative nor thought of as a “respectable career”. But things are different for the new kids on the block. We call this new group Gen Z.
Please now press pause ⏯, and when you are ready, flip switch over to Disc B for tracks 03-05.
And while doing so, if you’re enjoying so far, please don’t be shy in clicking share, subscribe, or leaving a comment🤝